2003’s “Bad Boys 2”, directed by Michael Bay.
Starring Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Jordi Molla, Gabrielle
Union, Theresa Randle, Peter Stormare, and Michael Shannon.
Back for more, we again meet flamboyant (and borderline
paramilitary) Miami drug cop partners, Martin Lawrence and Will Smith. Lawrence
continues to be a family man, while Smith is a lone wolf always ready to
impress the ladies. After going undercover at a klu klux clan rally, the 2 of
them stumble into a plot where a Columbian drug lord is using dead bodies and
coffins to smuggle narcotics and cash across borders. While trying to
infiltrate the cartel’s operation, they run into an undercover federal agent
(Union), whom the gang needs to help protect her identity, while Smith tries
not to spill the beans about how he’s dating her- as she’s also Lawrence’s
sister. While this goes on, their perpetually frustrated captain (Joe Pantoliano)
tries not to have a stroke to at the duo’s antics, and the drug lords make
things personal when their backs are against the wall- forcing the bad boys to
dig deep.
“Captain, these are not normal corpses.” With these words we
are forced to evaluate why we decided to watch Michael Bay’s follow up to his
1995 black buddy cop film, “Bad Boys”. “BB2” is a hyperextension of the first
film- more vague cop scenarios, more car chases, more shoot outs, more banter.
Unfortunately for the sake of tolerance, there’s also plenty of racism, misogyny, sexism,
class warfare, nudity, homophobia, increased screen time, and just bad taste. At a psychologically
numbing 2 hours and 27 minutes, you get more than enough opportunity for
Michael Bay to showcase his strengths and subsequent weaknesses: flashy,
gorgeous kinetic images that when put together into a movie, resemble multiple
ADHD music videos stitched together. Several of the car chases have the potential
to be amazing, to be some of the most dynamic and explosive scenes this side of
“Bullit” or “The French Connection”. Unfortunately, Bay cuts everything
together until it resembles a shiny junk yard, where it’s impossible to
decipher whom is doing what. This is common with Bay- and the characters cycle
in and out, saying things and doing things, before the camera starts swirling
again. And that’s to say nothing of the stock character Haitian gang villains,
who exist to be run over and shot by our heroes here.
What’s worse though, is the 2 protagonists. Lawrence and
Smith return for more buddy cop movie cliches, such as their arguing antics and
screaming superior (played by Joe Pantoliano, as always in hairpiece). I won’t lie-
I’m fascinated by how reprehensibly bad “BB2” is. A cabal of white dudes most
certainly thought this piece of shiny rap cop crap would make teenage boys
salivate all the way to the multiplex. Lawrence’s character cycles back and
forth, between a tough cop out to get results and a dedicated family man, to
comedic punching bag and spiritual flake. For reasons unclear, he vacillates between the 2 arbitrarily, and
that’s before he accidentally ingests MDMA. Unbalancing things out, is Smith’s
character, whom exhibits zero depth, operating as a 100% in control
materialistic narcissist, typically pissed off at people for not giving him the
chance to be on top of things, regardless of what bodies he has to run over or
feelings he needs to hurt. Condescending but never self aware, he always gets
his man, gets the girl, and yells about his misfortune and general
circumstances while screaming around town in a Testarossa or Hummer.
Together,
the 2 of them jaunt around Miami (and perhaps other countries where they bizarrely
do not hold jurisdiction), abusing their power, and existing to meet their own
selfish needs. The pair’s coup de gracie is ultimately when a young man comes
by Lawrence’s household to take his daughter on a date, and the 2 cops couldn’t
be any less funny, while displaying levels of immaturity and just inappropriate
hate that would make a neo nazi group squirm. That the ridiculous ugliness
slimes in between an already unrealistic wanna-be “Miami Vice” inspired world
makes it all the more jarring, a fascinating market tested train crash. With
all the bad vibes, “BB2” can use the term, “spoiler alert”, and maybe for the
first time be referring to how it’s contents are rotten. As Lawrence confidently
projects, “It’s not gay shit- this is man shit.”
1/5
No comments:
Post a Comment