Baywatch

2017’s “Baywatch”, directed by Seth Gordon.

Starring the Rock, Zach Effron, Priyanka Chopra, Kelly Rohrbach, Alexandra Daddario, Ilfenesh Hadera, Jon Bass, and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II.

What is it about?

“Baywatch” is the cinematic equivalent to the television series’ that ran for 12 years. It featured lifeguards on the Californian coast who would do lifeguard things such as investigating drug dealers, fighting thugs, and exposing corrupt politicians- in between running in slow motion. It catapulted Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff to infamy, and here we watch the Rock and Zach Effron take on the lead roles as stewards of the beach. The Rock is firmly established as the leader of the group, while Effron, a disgraced Olympic gold medalist, wants to join the team. While Effron auditions, a drug dealer gangster (Priyanka Chopra), wants to take over the Bay by buying politicians, purchasing real estate, and murdering anybody who gets in her way. Will Effron be able to learn what it means to be a lifeguard while the group keeps their bay safe?

Why is it worth seeing?

If you enjoyed the television series, than the movie delivers more of the same- obscenely good looking people going so far out of the scope and boundaries of their employment that they’re practically back in their jurisdiction again. To the movie’s credit, characters routinely remind the group that their job is to save the lives of people who are drowning, etc. But the Rock never falters. As charismatic as he is perhaps mentally ill, he persuades and orders the group to continue digging into their wanna-be investigation, in order to keep their beloved Bay safe. Effron is the wild card, with his ability to (again) be the butt of jokes the movie has fun poking fun at his appearance. It’s a good thing, because the majority of the largely homophobic jokes in the film fall flatter than a silicone-less chest. As mentioned, the group’s job description confusion is often pointed out, and there are many comments about slow motion as well. But the cast aren’t really comic performers- and it shows.

Effron and his character’s fall from grace and subsequent soul searching does provide an anchor to follow on the group’s voyage, but it’s a pretty forgettable one. The women have very little to do, other than follow their male leads. Even the cameos by stars of the former show feel lost at sea, as their glory days may be behind them. With plenty of flotsam and jetsam to stare blankly at, but very little destination, “Baywatch” spends too much time overboard to correct it’s course.

Rating:

2.5/5

Trailer: Click Here.