Mortal Engines

2018’s Mortal Engines, directed by Christian Rivers.

Starring Robert Sheehan, Hera Hilmar, Hugo Weaving, Jihae, Leila George, Ronan Raftery, Patrick Malahide, Caren Pistorius, and Stephen Lang.

What is it about?

Mortal Engines is a sci fi tale about an apocalyptic future, where after a planet killing war the dregs of humanity live in enormous city sized tanks that prey upon smaller portable villages for their resources. Humble historian Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan) seeks to impress the Head of the Guild of Historians in London, Thaddeus Valentine (Hugo Weaving), but after Thaddeus’ cunning life is threatened by assassin Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar), Tom and Hester end up on the run through a dystopian terrain, stalked by paternal hoarder zombies and steampunk scavengers. They join up with freedom fighter, Anna Fang (Jihae), and her resistance fighters to stop London’s march into “stationary” Asia. Matched against Valentine’s ruthlessness and (old) modern fighting technology, will they be able to stop London’s march through the Great Wall?

Why is it worth seeing?

As (half) described above, Mortal Engines’ plot is batshit crazy. It takes an intriguing idea (a sort of Mad Max with some potentially interesting metaphors about class warfare), but then refuses to stop introducing new characters and convoluted situations with their lives, all amidst a background of perpetually blurry CGI motion set pieces. In terms of going for broke, it’s difficult to not imagine typewriters, those historical artifacts that could have been featured in the film’s historical archives, spitting out steam as the film’s trio of writers (Peter Jackson, Fran Welsh, and Philippa Boyens) pounded out a cacophony of bullshit. Based off of the book by Philip Reeves, he has said that despite the changes the screenplay deviated from the original, that he was happy with the finished product- in other words he was happy to get paid. 

Look, I’m not lying about the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 vibes of the film. It really goes for the jugular, in terms of unintentional comedy and baffling editing amongst incoherent action and Young Adult moping. Lost in a sea of gargantuan machines and steam punk production designs that will remind some of Gilliam’s Brazil, is somebody, anybody, that we can identify with who actually makes sense. For Sheehan’s alleged protagonist character, he doesn’t fully understand just who he is and how to stop city sized tanks- until he inexplicably changes his jacket. We also are forced to try to sympathize with what is likely film’s first hoarder zombie POV flashback- proving that no matter how determined you are to murder your orphaned surrogate daughter for breaking a promise to become an android, that love can conquer all. Did I mention that the gang is rescued by Ruthio’s stunt double from Hook?

Inept, confusing, and difficult to describe (read the summary a couple of times), but always impressively crazy, Mortal Engines is a hilarious version of the most incompetent John Carter vehicle a studio could ever produce. In terms of critical and financial results, it under delivered and underwhelmed (44 on Metacritic)- a just result, but perhaps a little sad too. Remember when Peter Jackson projects couldn’t miss? Between this and the despondent Hobbit trilogy, it might be time for Peter to get some R and R back in New Zealand.

Rating:

3/5

Trailer: Click Here.